What do you do when your experience of Christianity doesn’t fit with the doctrines you think you believe? This question arose as I continued my four years at Seattle Pacific University in the late 1980s and early 1990s. 

As a Christian liberal arts university, SPU required attendance at chapel services several times a week. One week every school year they would bring in a speaker who would preach at 3 chapel services as well as several other venues across campus. One year they brought in Lori Salierno. 

Lori was memorable for two reasons. First, her teachings were inspiring, motivating, and packed an emotional punch. Second, she was a woman.  

Up till then I had heard a few female speakers at SPU chapel services, but none in church services. The women I had heard speak at SPU were not great speakers (dare I say boring?). Because of this, it was easy to go along with what seems to be Paul’s clear teaching to the church in Corinth and to his disciple Timothy. Namely, that women should not speak in church. It seemed clear from my very small sample size of experiences that Paul was right, because they weren’t very skilled and I did not find them to be inspired or inspiring.

That’s when Lori Salierno entered the story. She told stories of reaching out to her neighbors with acts of kindness and love. She shared beautifully from 2 Corinthians 4 about how we may be persecuted and falling apart but we are never abandoned by Christ. She made a huge impact on me as a guest speaker. She was actually one of the most skilled and inspired speakers I had ever heard. And she was a woman.

My experience of the Christian faith had just contradicted what I purported to believe - that only men should speak on God’s behalf in worship meetings. I had three choices: 1-deny that Lori’s gifts were given by the Holy Spirit, 2-find new ways of interpreting the words of Paul to allow for Lori’s gifts to be given by the Holy Spirit, or 3-just hold onto a vague sense of discomfort at the conflict between my experiences and my beliefs.

Could it be true that what I had found so inspiring from Lori’s speaking was actually not inspired, and was just from practicing oratory skills? Or could it be true that what I had experienced required an adjustment of my beliefs about what women could and could not do in the church? 

This issue would return a few years later, demanding more attention. But for the time being I settled into option 3, simply wondering about the conflict happening inside me.