Note: coinciding with the release of “7 Steps Toward a More Beautiful Story of Faith”, this is the second of seven posts expanding on those steps. Subscribe and receive this free resource.

Step 2: Stop doing religious things that stifle the fruit of the Spirit in your life. Start doing more of the things that grow those fruits.  

A few months ago as Ann and I sat around the dining table enjoying our Sunday tradition of pancakes and eggs, I took a deep breath and uttered a sentence I had been hesitant to say out loud. I looked across the table and said to her, “I think attending our church is doing more harm to my spiritual life than good.” I said that because on the majority of Sundays, I found myself engaged in multiple inner arguments with the way the service was structured, the way the songs were produced, some of the ideas in the song lyrics, and the decisions made by the preacher in how he or she handled the Biblical text he was using. 

Whether it was the COVID shutdown, my own spiritual evolution, or a combination of both, I’ve found the evangelical worship service format increasingly frustrating and irritating to something deep within me. Because I love the leaders at our church, I want to emphasize this represents a change within me, not something wrong with the work they are doing. The worship service format is the same one that I’ve loved, produced, and participated in for decades. But something has been changing, and it’s inside of me. What used to bear good fruit in me is not having the same effect.

The Apostle Paul wrote in the 5th chapter of his letter to the Galatians a beautiful list of “fruits” that grow in the lives of Spirit-led followers of Christ. You’ve probably heard this list many times but here it is: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. What I think he meant was this: when people are connected with Christ, these traits will grow naturally inside of them, to the point that they become fruit flowing out of their lives that others will see and benefit from. 

So if I determine that a religious activity, no matter how time-honored it is, no longer bears those fruits in my life, I should at least consider ceasing those activities. But even more importantly, if I determine that doing those religious activities is creating the opposite of some of those fruits, my own spiritual health may be at risk if II continue doing them.

If you would have asked me 10 years ago what spiritual practices were the most important for growing a deeper relationship with Christ I would have likely listed these things: attend weekly worship, give generously of your money to the church, be in a small group to study the Bible and learn to love each other, and develop a habit of a daily time of prayer and Bible reading.

But over the last few years I’ve honestly started feeling less and less inspired by church services, and have found it harder and harder not to argue with Bible passages. I’ve begun questioning the whole idea of the Christian “tithe” (giving 10% of your income to the church) as a mandate, and “BIble studies” in small group settings have seemed to foster easy, surfacy answers instead of authentic and honest responses to Bible questions. Although good things can come from these activities, I often find  the results of these activities are not the beautiful fruits Paul listed.

And so…what now?

As I wrestle with this question, I’m finding that often it is better for me to do a spiritually uplifting thing like a walk in the woods or on the beach than to be irritated or frustrated by a church service. I’m discovering that God is available to me anytime, anywhere that I simply quiet my mind, and I’m developing the skills to do that. I’m feeling joy rise up within me when I’m involved in meeting the physical needs of people. I’m experiencing deeper relationships with a group of friends in which we are committed to being honest about our spiritual lives with each other.  For once, we are not repeating Christian cliches we’ve heard and too often repeated ourselves. We call this our BS Group (for Beautiful Stories of course). All of these activities are bearing the fruit of God’s Spirit in my life and inspiring me to love people - all people - more.

How about you? Are there religious activities that are sapping your joy, interrupting peace, and replacing love with criticism and irritation? Maybe it’s time you considered minimizing those activities and investing more time in new ones that will bring all those beautiful fruits to life. 

Perhaps God is doing a new work in you, birthing a new chapter in your relationship with God. Remember, with new growth often comes the death of old patterns of behavior. This can cause some spiritual unrest for a time. But I’m convinced God is in this process. And if you’re in the middle of it, be assured you’re progressing to a more beautiful story of faith.

READ STEP ONE - Lean into your doubts.

READ STEP THREE - Sing less worship songs. Serve more people in need.