Quit burying your doubts
Note: coinciding with the release of “7 Steps Toward a More Beautiful Story of Faith”, this is the first of seven posts expanding on those steps. Subscribe and receive this free resource.
Step 1 - Stop burying doubts about things you have been taught. Pursue answers fearlessly with the knowledge that all truth is God’s truth.
How do you think God reacts to your questions, doubts and confusion about your spiritual life? I think God says, “Bring it on!”
It may come as a surprise to those who sat listening to my sermons for years, but I wrestled with doubts about God, the Bible, Christianity, Heaven, Hell, and the church for as long as I can remember.
For many years as a pastor I tried to ignore those thoughts and feelings, because I was the one who was going to stand up and tell people what God wanted them to hear for 30 minutes every Sunday.
I would read things, particularly in the Old Testament, that just seemed morally wrong. There were descriptions of God seemingly bumbling forward, just trying things out as the human race developed. There were places God seemed immoral in how he treated individuals and groups of people. And the notion of God sending people to suffer tormenting pain for eternity just did not seem morally good, and I was sure God was morally good. Such places in the Bible made me question all sorts of things. The temptation to gloss over the questions and doubts was strong.
But there’s a great story in Luke chapter 7 that helps me see a healthier way forward. It’s a story involving Jesus, his cousin, and some of his cousin’s friends. In it you find John the Baptist (Jesus’ cousin) finding himself rotting in a prison cell. News reaches him of Jesus doing all sorts of miraculous things. But the miracles were not for him, only for other people. Earlier, John had been so clear about who Jesus was. He was there at Jesus’ baptism when a voice from the sky said Jesus was His son. It was easy then.
But here he is in prison, for speaking up against the immorality of one of the political leaders. And it seems Jesus has forgotten him. And so, from his prison cell he sends a couple of his friends to go find Jesus and ask him a simple question: “Are you the messiah or should I wait for someone else?” I think buried underneath those words was another question: “Are you going to get me out of here or what?” Because really, what good is a messiah who goes around healing people but not getting his family out of prison?
Jesus receives the question from John’s friends while he is out among a crowd of people. He simply tells John’s friends to go back and tell him what they see Jesus doing, that he is fulfilling an ancient prophecy about the messiah. It’s an indirect answer, but at least it’s an answer, and they head back to tell John. But then Jesus does something amazing. He looks out at the crowd and feels compelled to say a couple words about his doubting, fearful cousin.
Does Jesus condemn John for his doubts? Does He shame him for not remembering his previous convictions? Does He use John as an example of what NOT to do? No. He does just the opposite. He stands in front of the crowd and he praises John. He calls this doubting prophet the greatest man that ever walked the face of the earth.
I find this astounding, don’t you? So often Christians think that doubting should be buried and ignored. “Just keep smiling and repeating the answer everyone else seems to find so compelling.” But John, suffering in his prison cell from exposure and a crisis of belief, sends his most direct question right to Jesus. In the process he exposes himself as a potential failure. It’s risky, but Jesus praises him for his courage.
When I have doubts I wish I could just email jesusthemessiah@heaven.com and get a quick response - the right response. Obviously it’s not that easy to find answers to my questions. But I’ve learned that bringing those questions and doubts about my journey of faith into the open is the first step toward a more beautiful story of faith. Simply writing down a question that is rattling around in your head can be a catalyst to growth. Finding a trusted friend who will listen to your doubt without judgment can initiate the process of discovering new ways of understanding God. Allowing yourself to do a google search for answers, and maybe even reading the answers of people outside your own spiritual tribe can feel scary. But it can lead you toward a better understanding of the issues you are struggling with.
In a way, that’s the process that happened in me and provided the impetus to create this website. I’ve found that I CAN question the status quo of the religious story I received. I’ve found there are compelling alternatives that satisfy my need to “love God with all my mind”. I’ve learned to embrace new ideas that I was once afraid of. Because if it is true, God must be in it. All truth is God’s truth.
So if you want to take a step toward a more beautiful story of faith, I urge you to lean into your doubts. Stop ignoring or burying them. Seek answers that satisfy you. They are out there, and when you find them you will know the joy of experiencing a more beautiful story of your own.