Reflections
Thoughts about living a more beautiful story.
The tale of Bugsy the entomologist
Most of the ants didn’t understand what he was talking about, because there really wasn’t a way to describe what a human was to ants. There was not a vocabulary that encapsulated the essence of humanity into ant-size understanding.. So using the best ant communication methods available, Bugsy worked to tell the ants humans existed, and the amazing creativity and intelligence of humans. But he could not find any way to express the complexity of human emotions, their powers of reasoning, and their creations of music and art and jets and iPhones. Everything Bugsy communicated about humans had to be dumbed down to the very basic levels that he, as an ant using ant communication, could get across to them.
Quit burying your doubts
I would read things, particularly in the Old Testament, that just seemed morally wrong. There were descriptions of God seemingly bumbling forward, just trying things out as the human race developed. There were places God seemed immoral in how he treated individuals and groups of people. And the notion of God sending people to suffer tormenting pain for eternity just did not seem morally good, and I was sure God was morally good. Such places in the Bible made me question all sorts of things. The temptation to gloss over the questions and doubts was strong.
But there’s a great story in Luke chapter 7 that helped me see a healthier way forward.
The wonder of breathing
I close my eyes
Feel the weight of my body sink into the couch cushions
Place my hands, palm up, on my legs
Sit up tall
And breathe
Feel the rising of my chest with the inhale
God’s ever present gift of oxygen
Has been here all morning
But unnoticed until this moment
Imagining Jesus (wwjd, and wwjnd?)
A friend of mine recently ran for re-election to the local school board. The campaign got ugly, and my friend told me this after the election:
“I will be the first to admit that I am not a very religious man. I have not studied scripture, and haven't devoted my life to it. However, everything I have ever learned about religion is that it is about acceptance, love for your fellow man, and finding an inner peace that will carry you through extremely tough challenges and there is always support from your congregation. Unfortunately, those with the most religious beliefs have been the same who have come at me with the most vitriol, the least acceptance and the most steadfast resistance to compromise.”
It made me ask myself: “What would Jesus do?” and “What Would Jesus NOT do?”
Letting go of my divine expectations
I was about 6 weeks away from the end of my pastoral career when I heard this tragic news story. This one hit me a little closer to home than stories of war atrocities in other countries and in different generations. I know so many horrible stories, but when I heard this one it was like a gut punch. With convincing finality, I concluded that although God may be loving and kind, God was either not powerful enough to save this family, or God simply didn’t choose to perform a simple act to save them.
Who are God’s favorites (and am I one)?
I was 17 years old and had just committed myself to being a full-time servant of God in my career. How long? Well, forever of course. Any other use of my life would be compromising on what God had called me to that night. That commitment influenced my choice of college and major at college, my decision to go on summer mission trips for 5 straight summers, and my career decisions after I graduated.
But what happens to you when you make such a bold promise and then you decide you no longer want to be a pastor, or a missionary, or a non-profit entrepreneur? What goes on inside your deepest heart and mind when you decide to give a career as a real estate agent a go after so many years of serving God as a Pastor?
Shame. Religious shame. That’s what.
Why giving up on Hell made me a better Christian
Rather than just getting to know my neighbors because, well, they were my neighbors, everything I did in getting to know them became a foundation for “planting a seed” or priming them for a future spiritual conversation. I could feel the smarmy-ness of it. What was supposedly founded on love for my neighbor never felt like it. It felt more like disingenuous manipulation of my neighbor. I’m pretty sure they felt that, too. It might be why in 15 years at one address I didn’t get much beyond polite cul-de-sac conversations with those folks.
Since changing my beliefs about a literal hell, and a point-of-no-return when a person’s heart stops beating I’ve been able to love people better.
Feeling safe with God in the quiet
If I’m honest I think the only reason I re-discovered the joy of being still, silent, and quiet before God was because it was presented to me NOT as a way to be a better Christian, but as a way to know myself and get in touch with “the Divine”. The fact that it was Deepak Chopra and Oprah of all people made me more curious to give it a shot. If it had been Max Lucado and RIck Warren I probably would have just kept scrolling on my Facebook feed when I saw the ad. I would have been too suspicious of it awakening my inner spiritual critic.
Overcoming my fears of meditation
As I progressed through the 21 daily meditations, something started happening in me. For the first time in my life I began to experience deep stillness while opening myself to the God who created everything. I found myself opening to God to simply be with God.
But could it be wrong?
Could the Bible be wrong? It's a foundation-shaking question for those who are Jews or Christians. It is so problematic that most Christians I know will not even consider any answer besides a certain, loud "NO!" To many the answer must be "NO" because the Bible is God's Word, and God cannot lie, so there cannot be any lies, contradictions, or inconsistencies in it's compilation of 66 pieces of literature. The Bible is without error in everything it touches, and so it absolutely cannot be wrong about anything.
I am left handed
What if I grew up going to church every week, and found a few obscure passages in which the Biblical authors called left-handedness an abomination? What if I discovered that the Apostle Paul, a brilliant legal and theological mind, occasionally slipped a condemnation of left-handedness into his writings? What if I heard sermons denouncing left-handedness as sin?
Jesus was coming soon.
Readers of the New Testament discover about 40 days after his resurrection Jesus disappeared into the atmosphere, promising to return in just the same way someday. That sounds great. I am all for that! But when will it happen? More importantly, when did the authors of the New Testament say it would happen?
What's it all for anyway? (The sheep, the goats, and a verse in Micah)
I'm realizing that so much of what I'm involved in, and so much of what my current church (and most in my town) spends its money on is meeting the need for mental and spiritual experiences for the people of the organization. And it's hitting me that we are missing the mark.
God must have been just fine with it.
Although the book title has the effect of offending both people outside the faith and inside, the basic premise of the book is that we need to take the Bible seriously - but not literally.
They'll know we are Christians by our what?
I meet regularly with a friend named Scott who has been exploring the same path I've been traversing. We are both deeply committed to following Jesus Christ. And we're both coming to grips with the fact that we no longer believe the same way we did earlier in our lives.
What did Jesus really say? (And did he speak in red letters?)
For decades I've been reading the four accounts of Jesus' life and teaching - the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. From a young age I've enjoyed reading "red letter" editions of the Bible which use red fonts for the words spoken by Jesus.
Is Biblical Inerrancy a House of Cards?
Good, faithful people are taught that there are no discrepancies or contradictions in the scripture. Or, if there are things that seem like contradictions, there is a way to "harmonize" the divergent facts and still hold to the doctrine of inerrancy.
Can we talk about eternity and hell?
Scientists believe the earth is 4.5 billion years old. Stretch those years across the 100 yards of a football field and you go over 90 yards before you start seeing mammals appear on the earth. Humanity as we know it shows up in the last inch before the goal line. Your life and mine are less than 1/1000 of a millimeter on this football field.
My story of following Jesus toward a more beautiful story since the 1980s, with evolving and expanding views of the love of God in and out of pastoral ministry.
Want to jumpstart your own journey? These books, podcasts, and individuals have guided me toward a more beautiful story and could help you too.